"Full Figured" Means Never Having to Say You're Lying

In the hilarity of this afternoon, I'm just morally and obsessively obligated to share with you some of the most awkward and down right weird experiences in my online adventures as of late. First off, I have a question that most of you would find prejudice, but I assure you...........I know that. Why is it that whenever a woman describes herself as "full figured", the figure is always round? I can't believe that this option for self description is actually available to people who are afraid to come out and tell you they're fat. It's not that hard; just say, "hey......I'm fat." Some people have preferences against being intimate with lots of extra flesh just roaming around. Sure, you might feel bad about it, but you don't have to be misleading. There are plenty of men in the world that love them some 'fatty-bo-batties'; you should really try that route.

My other wonder and amazement comes from a picture I found on this site I've already covered in a previous post, but to my surprise, I can't figure out what the hell it's all about. In one half of my mind, I think that this is obviously a guy dressed up as a woman (very poorly I might add), but the other half of me thinks that according to the profile, it really is a girl and she's got a very tough life ahead of her........



I don't know, I was thinking of Norm from Cheers when I saw this...





But yeah, you can see my confusion. Is this a clearly obvious prank, or is this the real deal Holyfield? You decide, because this picture makes my brain hurt. I haven't seen too many chicks with a five o' clock shadow, but at least it's not as weird as the other fat woman today that instant messaged me that felt as comfortable as Lambchop in the Land of Make-Believe to start a conversation about her fibromyalgia and "service monkeys".