"You know, when I got out of bed today, I had the undying urge to take some of this hard earned money I got from working third shift at the gas station and just...throw it away. I thought long and hard about it for hours until a light bulb magically appeared above my head and suddenly, I had it! I think I'll go down to the most redneck establishment known to man and play Silent Night on the jukebox. What better way to please myself than to spend actual currency on a jukebox in a restaurant with a broken urinal and used food on the floor so other people can hear Silent Night just one more time."
Actually I was being generous. I did some rough math in my head and came to the conclusion that the complete thought probably went more like this:
"Hey y'all, check this sh*t out! I luuuuuv me some f*#%in' Jesus music!"