Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Can't Understand Normal Thinking.....and Boobs.

For an interesting discussion, I'm going to bring to light my personal views on gay animals.; but today I'm talking about breast augmentation. Tell me have you noticed how common it is in conversational pieces, whenever boob jobs (less commonly known as "making the fun bags funner") are the topic at hand, women who don't have them, talk them down; men who's wives don't have them talk them up, and last but not least, everyone refers to them as "fake".

Let me give you a little comparison that I've been contemplating like a sick beaver with a chair leg in its mouth. Let's say you're a burn victim. Your face has been completely and utterly deformed in the melding of your eyebrows to your neck. Would you consider skin grafts to surgically restore (or enhance for argument sake) your face? Of course you would. Why? Because this world is filled with people that put way too much value on physical appearances. Of course you might think that maybe I'm being a little harsh and making a really bold comparison; but if your face was melted of by a bacon grease fire while you were distracted by your drunk friend trying his hand at blowing fireballs with Everclear and dribbles enough out of his mouth to burn his face off, you deserve every minute of your foolishness and cosmetic surgery could very well be considered selfish and 'dodging the bullet', so to speak in this case. This argument being made, Does not a boob job only alter, or enhance your physical appearance? Don't tell me that corrective surgery is necessary on a life or death matter, like the Hulk's Five gallon bucket jock strap. If you had no materialistic appearance issues whatsoever, you would be content with a Dark Man/ Freddy Krueger face.
Or you could always just wear this new apparel that advertises your favorite disease.

The fact that most people call them fake is pretty ignorant; kind of like yelling "touchdown!" at a baseball game. There is no part of the outside of the breast (no part that you can see anyway), that's made of anything synthetic or unnatural. If a doctor inserted a metal plate in your head, would you have a fake head? Would you have a fake bloodstream because you take insulin shots? I suppose with the definition of "fake" alone, if you have a pacemaker, you're not really alive. Take a look at this and tell me you won't ever give a second glance at it and I'll introduce you to a world of square circles and teeth at Waffle House.

Viagra is one of the best examples of physical "enhancement". Take one of these and you now have a fake penis. Your happy humper just got jacked up by a pill that's even more synthetic than the saline that goes into the breasts. If it isn't crazy to see things this way, then I don't have views on gay animals.


Don said...

I have a girlfriend that has implants. Now I didn't know her before, but damn! Bre is fino--even though she looks like Kobe F*cking Bryant.

Anonymous said...

I swear, this has to be from your other sister and i taking turns dropping you! j/k it had to be all the nyquil.

love ya

Qelqoth said...

I'm with you 100% on this. Besides, I'm all for equality when it comes to implants and surgical enhancement. I just draw the line at androids.

Yeah, I saw The Stepford Wives; it freaked me the fuck out. From that day on, I made a pledge to only nail hookers with epic breasts.

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