Sarcasm is Best Used in Absence

I found this sign at the BP station along with some kind of advertisement about a stronger engine. Here's the problem. Do you see any signs of muscles on this so-called arm protruding from an invisible orifice on the side of the outdated gas pump shown here? I sure as hell don't. In fact, I just see a big 'ol fist with an apparent gleam in its.......eye? This sign doesn't say to me "stronger engine" This sign clearly says, "OUR GAS WILL F *%#ING PUNCH YOU!!"

It really doesn't matter what condition your engine is in right now. With the gas prices at an all-time "suck it America", even merchandise at Big Lots is scratching it groin from financial herpes....and that's pretty serious.


However, apparently you can take your moped to the drive-through now. I thought it was just for whiny flannel wearing hippies, but I guess.....wait.......never mind. That is a whiny flannel wearing hippie. Why the hell didn't I ever get into truck driving or Tim Allen sitcoms; I could've been wearing flannel too. I suppose I'll just stick to buying holiday decorations at Big Lots. I don't even know why they call it that anyway. The store aren't exactly big and I don't remember ever seeing lots being sold there. The name makes about as much sense as Abercr.........Aber.........damnit, you get what I'm trying to say. Big Boy has a "big boy" outside, Dunkin' Donuts has donuts inside, The ABC store has Protestants, and Big Lots is a tiny glorified K Mart with seasonal ass matter and 3 dollar DVD's.
One thing's for sure though... at least they won't punch you.