Friday, August 15, 2008

Confucius say: Diss Racism Kirring Me.

If I could be a nun, I would warn blind children about the adverse effects of masturbation on kids that can see perfectly well. "Sick and sinful little perverts touch their tiddlywinks and become like YOU!!" Although I would be too busy contemplating my life in sudden rewind as I ponder exactly why I became a nun instead of a priest, but I'm not a gay pedophile, so cross-dresser I suppose could be considered the lesser of two evils.......wait. I'm not Catholic. Oh, good; now I can finish my book about stupid people.

Now, you may be asking yourself, "Self, what the hell is this?" This is a tapestry painting on the wall at our local Chinese restaurant. I stared at this for a few minutes and when my wife asked me why, I said, "because there's a huge ass on it, but I'm trying to figure out what exactly is coming out of it. Maybe he's just sitting on a really tiny stool. Maybe it's not a he at all and we can only see half of the stool..."

Yeah......this is how I see the world.

People still get embarrassed when I shout out "FIE DAHRA!!" every time we eat at an Asian restaurant, but you can't beat good ol' prejudice. Chinese teenagers are usually urged not to smoke pot for fear that their eyes will close up compreetry. most of you know what I'm talking about) Anyway, I'm cutting it short because I need to go blind for about 30 seconds and then take a nap........on a stool.

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threio said...

That is a deer putting its Huff up a hunters ass!

Don said...

30 seconds? Christ your quick on the trigger. And you can still shoot straight? sayonara (yeah, I know - japanese. )

margaret said...

I say its buck teeth. From eating whole rabbits...or something.

kathcom said...

And I thought my husband singing the theme to Mothra in Japanese places was bad.

Come to think of it, singing it in a Chinese restaurant would be even more ignorant, wouldn't it?

Anonymous said...

Shhhhhhhhhh. For God's sake people, give the man his friggin' 30 seconds without bothering him!!!

Fitzgerald said...

30 seconds, Dude you better tell your wife to help you out, I'm sure she would "rub you rong time" or at least longer than 30 seconds (yeah I know that could be read two ways).

And didn't anybody tell you that napping on the stool can cause bad circulation to the legs.