Friday, May 22, 2009

Ah, to Be So Bold...

Before less than a minute ago, I had no idea what to write, but lo and behold America the beautiful provides me with and endless slew of ammunition. This is gonna be great so pay very close attention....very close attention, because the world is about to help me laugh my ass off; but by no means am I going to give you anyone's phone number.......




My wife received an email from a girl in our hometown, looking just as hick as the rest of this place (no offense Gastonia, I still love you like fat kids love....being called fat.) Anyway, this chick wants to have a threesome with my ball and chain and her boyfriend. The funny part is that this poor excuse for someone that can actually read a married status, she also ironically left her phone number along with this message. Like I said, by no means am I gonna give you anyone's phone number....and it definitely wouldn't start with a seven, even if I did want to give it to you. Honestly, you'd probably get zero response from me, especially if you asked me for it four times, or even eight times. I'm like a brick wall that way. You'll get absolutely nothing out of me. The only reason why I say zero response is because when I'm given something that people should keep private from people they don't know, there's most likely at least seven reasons that it should stop there and go no further. It's called confidentiality.


oh, I almost forgot...



Have you ever seen that movie, Seven? I think I've seen it six times or so, but there was one time in particular that I really enjoyed it, then I saw it five more times...




by the way, don't give your phone number out on the internet. Someone might post it on a blog or something.

2 comments:

Candice said...

Damn shame I don't live in Gastonia. ;)

I kid.

Beau Horner said...

Candice - ...damn shame.