Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Cable Pays for Sexy Chickens

I recently received a job offer to work for Time Warner as a broadband technician. It's not quite the pay I was expecting; but hey, how are you gonna beat the salary of a prostitute working under the guise of a customer care rep. from Joanne Fabrics that gives rim jobs in the back storeroom for red rope licorice? Don't you judge me.

I used to send blogs into Scrivel.com, which I suppose was a good idea at the time, even though it didn't raise my traffic at all; but that's not why I stopped sending things in. My stuff was edited too much and I personally like everything I write just the way I write it. The next time I ever decide to send my work into another website, I better own it, or at least be giving rim jobs to the owner of it.......and no Scrivel.com, that's not an invitation......unless you gonna do it. You know, I'm pretty damn sure I have ADD, not the opposite of subtraction, the attention thing. Every time I start writing, I start thinking about something else like, How many chickens will I be able to violate in public before someone notices I forgot to wear a condom? Which reality show should I murder the cast of with Joe Pesci's shoes first? It's just things like this that makah da world go round.


Joseph said...

I guess my question is, who wouldn't do that for red rope licorice?

Beau Horner said...

Your guess is as good as mine. I did it for black licorice once, but I regretted it later.