Friday, February 13, 2009

No Mexican Tonight I'm Guessing

My wife quoted to me this morning, "You're the smelly bean fart of my existence... Everything is fine until you poop a little."
I had so much to say to that...although I couldn't breath, so that shut me up a little. Why, you might ask? Because I figured out exactly where the inspiration to that one-liner originated. I smelled a bean fart. Now is the time where you ask, "Hey, Beau! What's a bean fart?" (<--see there, I set up a straw man.) Is it a fart that smells like beans, or a fart that was caused by beans? Well, let me sum it up with a really long answer. Have you ever rummaged through a full, slimy dumpster on a summer afternoon when the heat is beating down on the warm baby barf odor emanating from the cracks in the rusted shut doors, found a half eaten burrito, and decided to squeeze it to watch all of the moldy refried beans squishing out? Now take a big whiff.............

Bean fart.

By the way, If you really have ever done that, please don't tell me.

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