Saturday, June 6, 2009

My 1-Year Blogoversary... Reese's Doesn't Stand a Chance

For me, three days ago was..... Wednesday. So, just to prove how much of a procrastinator I am, I waited until today to mark my 1-year anniversary (some of my blogger friends call a blogoversary) and use that cream the doctor gave me for the rash I got while hanging out with the Jonas Bros.(and which is apparently airborne). The anniversary of this blog page is supposed to be an important occasion because hey, a year has passed and we all know I made that happen with my super powers of making time pass at normal speed. It's a God-given ability I picked up while battling wild animals in the far reaches of Bret Michaels' house.

Get your own free Blogoversary button!

Anniversaries most of the time piss me off royally. I couldn't tell you how many people I see and hear celebrating anniversaries every month or even week if it's a relationship between two yuppies. Let me just put my two cents in by saying, "an anniversary is ONCE A YEAR!!!" Anybody ever hear the word annual? Yeah, that's also once a year. So let's all be good Americans and show the rest of the world that we know how to use our own language. This is why there are school.





Now you might think I have something extra special planned for you. You must not know me at all. Truth is, I have a rash. Lucky you.
So with no further ado, let's get on with the subject matter, shall we? It's pretty simple actually. I was at the gas station and I just so happen to like chocolate. I know, what are the odds? I put in the extra money for the "bigger" version of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and I noticed to my surprise, Americans don't know math either. Let me show you...






Did you notice that? Check out that yellow strip on the right. It says "40% more free".
Wow!! Are you serious? An entire 40% more? Absolutely free? What's the catch?
I'll tell you what the catch is...... There are three, count 'em three f*%#in' cups in this package! Originally, there were two cups, now there are three. Let us recap: Two delicious peanut butter cups are now three delicious peanut butter cups because you get.....40% more. Is anybody else seeing what I'm seeing here? I want to know who the guy is in this economy that's obviously deserving of his job and ultimately responsible for not knowing how to add percentages to two whole objects. Maybe I could get a job for the Hershey Company decreasing the size of their "fun size" candy bars by three halves. In case no one's noticed, a candy bar the size of my thumb is not fun at all. Of course, that's a blog for another time; I'm already looking for the guy responsible for that one.



Well, that's the end of my 1-year blogoversary. Remember I enjoy comments. They let me know there are more than twelve people reading this thing. Also if you'd like to go to the top of your screen and "follow this blog", I'd appreciate that also. I'll do my best and try not to expose myself after being around the Jonas Bros. but I'm not promising anything.



9 comments:

Ralph Ivy said...

You certainly have a humor of sense.
(of sensibility, of sensitivity, and certainly common sense.) I think you gave us more than 2 cents worth on this anniversary post. I'd say a deserved full nickle's worth! I'll check your blog out more.

Congragulations.

Beau Horner said...

Ralph - thanks. I once gave a nickel's worth and got three pennies back because speaking your mind was 75% off that day... Imagine my surprise.

pixelpixie said...

Happy blobaversary, I mean blogaversary, sorry got you and my blob friend mixed up, his blob anniversary is today. Weird huh?
You're funny!

Beau Horner said...

Pixie - I bet you say that to all the solid guys.

Sue said...

Happy Blogaversary! I had to go check when mine was and it's coming up. Dear God I have to come up with something humorous to post about trying to be funny for 6 years, I think it's 6. I have to go check again, damn it.

Beau Horner said...

Sue - Sorry for stirring up your long forgotten memories. I'll make it up to you by causing massive head trauma. That ought to at least make you forget your middle name or something.

unfinishedrambler said...

Happy belated blogoversary, Beau...and while I enjoy Reese's too, and wouldn't mind if you share them, I'd appreciate if you didn't expose yourself. Uh, yeah.

Beau Horner said...

Rambler - Just bring the Reese's and well negotiate the terms.

Anonymous said...

i'm thinking of running dating site purely for the disabled