Thursday, June 11, 2009

One Flew Out of the Egg Carton

This guy in a flannel shirt and a beard on television just told me to spray Kaboom on my shower door. How did he know I did that? I didn't think anyone was looking, but I've been wrong before...

We went to the grocery store last night, not to get cocaine around back this time, but to get some actual food. Now for me, grocery shopping can be a little more interesting than if you went with your grandmother like I know you do. First of all, I like to take things out of people's carts when they're not looking. Then, I run really fast through the isles and ride the carts until I hit something or someone...or someone's child; but that only happened twice. Look, they shouldn't have been in my way; I have to be free like a bird. Next, every now and then I like to break a single egg in each carton of eggs and put a single feather in the wreckage. I mean, come on... It's cheaper than going to the movies.

At least they had a sale I couldn't pass up:

I got a dozen... Good thing they were imported from Jamaica, or I might have had to pay a little more for the Ganja-free ugli babies.

I also got something I've been needing for about 16 years now. Some homeless guy had a truckload and told me that if I bought one, I'd be the first person to ever own it. I couldn't possibly let this opportunity slip through my fingers:

I used to have to rewind my DVD's maunally...

Anyway, I guess I'll be sending my babies back tomorrow. Apparently, they yell really loud when you prepare them for consumption and we have a noise ordinance around here. Oh, and I forgot the wing sauce.

Don't forget to click here, here, and here too.

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