Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Best Chicken Idea Money Can Have Sex With

In all of my years contemplating, nay visualizing the intrigue and majestic core ideals of the Gallus Gallus or Gallus Domesticus......... chicken.......I've come upon the biggest market strategy to completely domesticate these feathered little morsels of crispy-fried goodness. Specifically, since the chicken is being bred in greater numbers as the years go by, the male species of the Gallus Domesticus, or cock, is getting lonelier and lonelier. These pitiful and lonely little cocks need some attention and loving kindness that only an 8 piece can satisfy.

So here we are, the human race with our sex related toys and accessories, made for experimenting couples, large....large groups of people with too much money in their bank accounts, large people in general, and last but not least, very lonely, unattractive men with no chance whatsoever of scoring some strange. Are we seeing the connection here?

That's right kiddies, the rubber chicken has been selfishly squandered by the Homo Sapien (and the homo in general) for sick, humorous and frankly tasteless and outdated reasons that, to be honest, escape me at the moment. So what are we do do with these floppy, flacid wind sock chickens? Why, we should give them a little cock.

Our cocks are cheated out of a good lay because we're eating all of the play. We should at least create a sex toy for our cocks; give the damn cock something to stick itself to. Since we already have millions and millions of rubber chickens already, there's virtually no overhead. We can make up for the giant gaping holes by filling them with mashed potatoes. Hey, it goes good with chicken. Just don't get your cock lost in the mashed potatoes.....you might get the love gravy confused with the actual gravy. Besides, your cock may get out of line and if it does, you'll have to grab it firmly and yank your rabid cock right out of that tater filled orgy of imitation Chicken Little that if not filled with some man-chicken love like the sky is falling, would be a total waste of human effort on your part.

I know it's a difficult endevor for you and your cock, but trust me......If done right, you might get to sleep in tomorrow.

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Tina said...

Interesting idea...lol

Anonymous said...

Just want to say what a great blog you got here!
I've been around for quite a lot of time, but finally decided to show my appreciation of your work!

Thumbs up, and keep it going!

Christian, iwspo.net

Beau Horner said...

Thanks Tina... and Anonymous Christian!