Sunday, March 22, 2009

The Daisy Chain is Now a S#%t Stream

I just saw on a commercial this afternoon the brand-spanking (possibly in a literal sense) new reality television show starring Daisy De La Hoya, called Daisy of Love.
Before I go out on a limb here and just blindly assume that I'm going to be forced to watch this show along with all of the other reality shows in the "watch me be a whore" category, I don't even understand the title. Daisy of Love? What the hell does that mean? Maybe if they took all of the Queer Eye guys and called it Daisy Chain of Love, it'd be at least comprehensible what message VH1 was trying to convey.

So without further a due I'm going to use my psychic powers and predict the top ten most memorable catch phrases that'll be coined by all of the men, women, or hermaphrodites featured in this little drunken glaze of events.

10. "I just want to make sure you're here for me."

9. "are you drunk?"

8. "I can't be here anymore."

7. "Did I leave that condom inside you last night?"

6. "That doesn't go there!"

5. "You're interfering with my one-on-one time."

4. "I knew I left that condom inside you last night."

3. "I used to (name shameless sin) for money/smack."

2. "My uncle used to hit me in the boobs."

1. "Can I have that condom back please."

I guess I'll go back to pleading with my wife to change the channel from For the Love of RayJ before I send a letter to VH1 about how this channel is one by far that makes everything hurt. It's almost better than America's Next Top Showcase of Tyra Banks Talking About Herself.


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