Sunday, March 15, 2009

Pools are Well Made for Welfare


There's a new catch phrase my wife came up with today. I specifically heard, "you can't re-squish! You never re-squish! What you want is the initial squish."
Just so we're up to speed, this had something to do with the fact that I was driving and I ran over wet road kill in the rain... You're probably doing the math in your head about now. The seriousness and determination in her eyes almost made me laugh to the point of taking a vow of silence in a monastery somewhere in downtown Jersey.

The subject at hand concerning me at this juncture is probably one of the most detrimental issues facing kids today. I'm speaking to you about this issue in particular because of the trauma it may or may not and definitely has caused to children of all ages, somewhere between the poverty and lower class developments, behind the dumpsters at Taco Bell and down by That one guy's house....you know, the one that steps just outside his front door in a wife beater because the underage girl across the street is sitting on the hood of her father's car with her legs out like she's trying to get attention, scratches his nuts, looks around, and walks back inside......that's kind of creepy now that I'm talking about it. But yeah, down that way...

Have you ever been to a public pool? I don't mean walked by one either. I mean a community pool that you have to pay to swim? My nephew-in-law's daughter ( I'm not doing the math on that one) was having a birthday party....and apparently, so was an entire trailer park's worth of inbred, human welfare machines. The part that bothered me wasn't the entire collection of women involved with the birthday party next to us having not one single tooth between all five of them, it was the idea of us being there too for the same reason. I saw more crack smiles than a family of people with butts for faces. I couldn't help but to think about all of the middle class to upper middle class communities possibly having pools for everyday use, while the poverty stricken take their kids to swim for special occasions.

I think maybe for Christmas, I'm going to buy some of that fancy paper those rich folks use in the bathroom.


Jesus Walt, What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get that cat stuck in your ass again. He said, well how else am I gonna get the Gerbil out?

1 comment:

Sheila Barber said...

It ain't just you brother! This is reminicent of every wedding, baby shower, etc. etc. I've been to on the Barber side