Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The Revolution Begins at the Changing Station

inside Wal-Mart is a public restroom. The room on the left of the entrance (depending on which way you're facing). This room, despite its horrific pee trails running down the walls from the ceiling corners, toilet paper by the rolls stuffed into every hole that either supports an entrance or exit for water amongst other things, and the brown smears coming in from every direction imaginable, it serves me one purpose in particular that I can honestly say I'm proud of besides the usual dead guy on the floor. Now, even though I'm sharing this information with the utmost confidence and secrecy, I'm also giving the fathers out there taste of how sneaky they can be when visiting the place we go to beat our kids.

Sometimes, the wifey likes to wait until we go to Wal-Mart (coming to or going from) to say, "will you please change her diaper?" Even though I would love to help out and perform the fatherly duties beset to me by God Himself, I use my "get out of crap free" card called:

"......There's no changing station in the men's room honey......."



There really is, but is she really gonna go into the men's room and check?
I'm still ahead of the game......and it feels so good.