Sunday, March 1, 2009

Party People Mess With Balloons at Church

I'm going to be the first person (If anyone else tries this, I'm suing for at least a plasma tv.) to invent the before-after high school year book. Eventually, you get to see people as they get older, but how many people do you actually get to compare their teenage pictures with a middle-aged version of themselves? You get to view all of the stoners (like me in high school) with maybe half of them next to a blank square that says, "picture not available". You'll have the closet gays then, now adorned with bright colors and eyeliner.....wait, no....those are the emo's.

Hey, it wasn't a bad idea when I scraped it on the side of somebody's car at the bowling alley with a broken bottle. Sometimes I get the idea to invent things and then eventually I wake up and I can't remember my father. I'm not sure why my sphincter's sore every time, but I think there's a tiny clown with black patch disease hiding in my bunghole trying his hand at balloon animals; because there's usually one of them hanging out of the ol' brown eye. I've never seen a balloon with a resevior tip, but you get the idea. That's the last time I try to brain storm at a church lock-in. Those crazy christians...

My wife just had a birthday party this weekend. Her and her friends decided (like they do every year) that the best way to celebrate anything is to get drunk and say "yay" a lot. The word "party" actually translates "let's find an excuse to get plastered". Don't want anyone judging your alcoholism? Tell them you're having a party. They'll understand.....They'll probably even try and join the party.

Then, everyone can find and kill that damn clown.

1 comment:

The Office Scribe said...

Congratulations - Yours was the blog that while reading at work I made a gasping noise which made co-workers this I was choking and to pacify them I had to show them the picture of the clown and admit to reading blogs while at work.

If I get fired I blame you.