The Couch.......The Epitome of Man's Best Friend

With the toy show completely flopping and me having that really hot and itchy diarrhea, you would think I had a pretty bad weekend; but actually aside from sitting in the stall and for five second straight I thought I heard someone dumping three hundred pounds of potatoes into a tub of Jello, it wasn't all that bad. Someone recommended to me a site called ECrater which is like ebay, only free. Don't get me started on how much I hate ebay, though. I'd rather just skip the middle man and send my stuff out to random people, while at the same time sending ebay my firstborn and a gift certificate for one free middle finger.

Just in case one of my three readers are concerned, I'm not being evicted, I came up with the money... and I'm not a gigilo yet, but I haven't taken that off my list of possibilities.



Last night I checked my email for the second time this month and found I received one from the marketing coordinator at mancouch.com. Apparently they've read my blog and want to feature it on their site. Well, obviously because I'm a man's man. I pee in the shower and I just found out what napkins are used for. I roll the windows up in the car just before I fart and I don't wash my hands after using the restroom. Whatever I'm supposed to do, I'll do it later. I love fake boobs, slutty women, any food with massive, rediculous amounts of meat and cheese, ultimate fighting, jobs that pay in Jack Daniel's, and teaching my daughter to love Batman. I think that at least qualifies my man card to be punched enough for a free sandwich or something. With all of this free stuff these sites are getting with featuring my writing, I seriously need to get a paying gig, like that guy that tells people to be quiet at the golf course. I'm sure he makes a buttload of cash. Maybe someone should pay me to point out that Sid the Science Kid doesn't have any teeth........crap, I just gave it away.