Thursday, July 3, 2008

Batman #678 R.I.P. part 3 (Spoilers… and those little cocktail umbrellas) Summed up in just a few lewd gestures.

I finished reading through Batman #678 (R.I.P. part 3) yesterday and got my mind fondled yet again by the great big Morrison monster. Let’s put the major points out there just so we know what we’re dealing with (huge spoilers by the way, for those of you who made it to this page by accident and you’re stupid enough to keep reading).

It turns out Tim Drake snuck out the secret files that Bruce has put in the black case book. You know, for a crime fighter, he ganks a lot of stuff. Members of the Black Glove are chasing him down, while he tries to meet up with Nightwing in sector 5, wherever the hell that is. Nightwing is tied up with Spartacus and his Roman lover, while Scorpiana sneaks up from behind and drugs him (you find this out later). Bruce is rollin’ with his homie Honor Jones and coming down from his trippy dumpster days, not knowing who he is or what he’s doing there. Later you find out Honor has been dead for a little while, but you know, Robin saw him a couple issues ago. Anyway, Hurt and the villains are in the Bat Cave (their new base of proste….operations), while Alfred is tied up and beaten in the knees, like Nancy Kerrigan. Ok, he’s pretty much “half to death”. Hurt puts on the “original” batsuit that Thomas Wayne wore once after a hellorific rave party, and talks some smack about Bruce. Then you find out Nightwing was put in Arkham and is foaming at the mouth, also like Nancy Kerrigan; so he’s out of the picture for the time being. Bruce at the end talks about the bat-radia (batman#113) and sews himself up a costume to become “The Batman of Zurr En Arhh”.

It looks to me like He always was, and he imagined it the whole time. Little Brucey is totally whacked out. Either way, it was a great and very short issue that doesn’t move forward too much, but we’ll be looking forward to Batman #679 (R.I.P. part 5)!!

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