Monday, July 21, 2008

Nader of the Lost....Yak?

This is the lesson for today: “When parents compete, babies win”. How many times have you seen two parents fight over the piece of steak that is their child? My wife and I are trying to get our daughter to make sounds that sound like either “mama” or “dada”. I for one know that the odds are in my favor, but she might even say, “suck it”, being hat she’s her mother’s daughter. If I’m lucky, they’ll look at her resume at McDawnalds and immediately hire her on the grounds that she knows two words or more in English. I hear that’s all it takes these days. One more word and she qualifies to be a convenient store owner.

Some people hate immigrants, I would love to be one. Do you have any idea what the government does for these people? It’s far less beneficial to be a born citizen….unless you’re Ralph Nader. He’s so special he gets to run for president every term. I wish I was that special. Speaking of special, I went all retarded yesterday when my wife “got’er hurr did”(that’s how educationally challenged folks say it), she looked as if she was Jean Grey and I had a retainer. It was pretty hot. If she were to pee standing up, I’d still give her props; Although, I’d wonder how I got my daughter after that……and I might throw up in my mouth a little…..and I think I was advised to mention…yak poop? I guess we’ll never know whether or not yak poop has adverse effects on Mr. Nader; but we can still dream.

Look, Ralphie boy's only problem is that he just forgets to tell people he's still here. Maybe a little, "Hey, remember me? I'm that guy!" would suffice, but I don't remember getting that bulletin on Myspace. All I get is friend request from a picture of two boys that look like girls kissing each other.


April said...

cracked up over this post!

Meg said...

I think Ralphie needs a little cut and color, too. And maybe George Clooney in his back pocket.