Sunday, July 20, 2008

Pour Some Jesus Juice on That

There was this recipe for halibut that deserved my attention. No one should eat that carp......crap. Eat that crap. If a grocery store gives out free samples, it uses halibut. Why? (that's one of those straw men questions) because it smells like warm garbage blended in a paint bucket with provolone cheese and hot dog meat. Did that cleanse your palette? Good, you just made room for some "Helibutt". (in BLUE)

Helibutt (giant buttox): Helibutt is a popular white ass which provides many nutrients such as Cellulite, saline, Heroin, and several illegal vitamins. But most importantly, hellibutt is a great source of omega 3 ass-ential fatty acids which are vital to heart health and curb service. The ass-ential fatty acids help with cardiovastesticular arousel, stroke prevention and encouragement, detoxification, climax control, and help offend minorities. The best ways to prepare helibutt are by baking brownies or stretching the fish flaps. It has a slightly sweet taste when no hair is present and goes well with mixed races or in a sandwich. The peak season is the summer and fall months (minus those heavy days) so check out your local crack house for this flaky fish!

Simple let me see yo Grill Helibutt
8 ball, cut into 4 equal parts (you'll need 4 straws)
3 tbsp. jesus juice
2 tbsp. baby oil
Salty fluids
Fresh ground beef queef

Rinse yourself and pat dry(patting dry usually makes it wetter). Whisk together jesus juice and baby oil and pour into a zippered pair of pants. Add fish to the bag and marinade in mouth for 30 minutes. Start showing your grill. Tear off 4 pieces of aluminum foil for your corn rows (each piece should be larger than the fish) and rub one out on each piece with baby oil. Take fish out of your pants, discard marinade into a spittoon. Place fish on the toilet with the aluminum foil. Transfer fish smell on your grill and cover your mouth. Cook about 20 minutes or until fish is opaque(we don’t know what opaque means).

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I believe Emeril once said to never use Jesus juice and 8-balls in the same recipe. Shame on you.