Thursday, July 10, 2008

Super Mario in Logic Land

I'm still trying to figure out what makes a plumber super, other than the super prices they charge on the weekend. The issue at hand is the imagination that is required to think up all the things that make up the Super Mario world. You have plumbers from Brooklyn, a bunch of mushroom people, their ruler, rainbow colored dinosaurs, flying turtles, midgets in hockey masks, magic stars, go-karts, tennis, melee fighting, and floating coins and keys. You guessed it; this is the work of very stoned, very delusional, deadheads. How high do you have to be to put together a pseudo evil counterpart to a hyperactive plumber, a pigme with shroom hat, trying to collect a red shell, so they can knock down a potted Venus fly trap and a giant monkey with a neck-tie, from a huge rainbow road with a vacuum tube in the middle of space? Pretty high... You ever seen a plumber playing golf? Hell no, they'd be at the titty-bar, slipping giant revolving gold coins into a strippers super g-string.....and somebody please tell me how picking turnips out of the ground helps my fighting skills against an albatross. Here's another question: How do they even bring in old-timey piano music into chocolate chip cookie land with mud monsters and fireball spitting flowers and somehow it fits?!?! You're all being brainwashed into getting plastered every time you pick up the controller and I don't feel sorry for you. I can't believe people will play this kind of weird trippy, imaginary hoopajoob junktastic crap. Ugh.........I'm gonna go finish Bart vs. the Space Mutants. That's where the reality is.



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5 comments:

Alice said...

Did you know there was an actual TV show for Mario Brothers? Did you know I refuse for it to be played in the house if I'm present? The music is repeated through the whole thing until I want to shoot myself in the head.

Sarah♥ said...

Dont forget-- Those plumbers do get a princess in the END!

:)

sinisterdan said...

I've always been far more interested in what hormonal imbalance they have that keeps them so short.

CHRIS said...

You are the oldest most usless, un-educated ppl iv ever heardin my entire life that "Titty bar" goin plummer has grossed over 36 million dollars in the last 10 years sold over 100 million games world wide so say what you will but hes worth more then any of you will ever be and its not his fault no one likes you so please the next time dont bother cause you may not feel sorry for us but we feel sorry for how little you mean to the world thank you for your understanding

Beau Horner said...

^That was the dumbest comment I've ever seen anyone post, ever....This blog is for humor and you sound like someone just insulted your best friend, with horrible grammar I might add.....and who the hell is this "us"? Just for the record, Mario isn't real. I'm sorry to break it to ya.