Friday, July 25, 2008

Like Shooting Fish in the Chest

I'd normally think the fish would have to be dead in order to pull that off. Anyone have any dead fish I could shoot in the chest? Don't worry, they won't feel a thing.....until I make zombie fish. The only problem with organizing a global campaign involving zombie fish is that they're pretty limited as to how much dry ground they can cover. None, actually. I've tried to remedy this little flaw by providing my fish minions with guns so they can shoot right out of the water, but the gun just sinks to the bottom when I drop it in the water, and the fish just swim around. Hell, they don't even have teeth...so they couldn't even bite you if you were in the water.

Alright so it wasn't a carefully thought out plan.


But in all of these "trial and error...and more error...and yet even more error" situations, I've come up with something that will revolutionize the industry of its related field. I call it, "The Garbage Bag Box Bag".

I know what you're thinking: "how does it work?" Well, I have somewhat of a more complex answer than what you might expect from me. There's a very paradoxical qualm that me and my other three personalities experience regarding garbage maintenance, usually around 2:00 in the morning, when I put the voices on their 15 minute break. Have you ever noticed that you buy a box of trash bags, then eventually you run out and so you discard the empty box in the remaining trash bag...which is why I'm inventing the Garbage Bag Box Bag. It's a box of garbage bags that comes in a bag itself, utilizing the concept of what's trash and what's not. See, this way it's not like throwing away the trash bag container in the trash, it's like you're initially just pulling trash bags out of the existing trash. For me it's a lot less confusion, plus you get an extra bag out of it; but I think with at least a few of you, your head just exploded.

If you don't want to have to invent super cool household accessories, then you better start preparing for the zombie fish invasion. A few of them learned how to nibble away crud from in between the toes. They got that goin' for them. I hope that's not Scott Baio's feet. on the left.











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6 comments:

Bee said...

I don't take out the garbage in my house so the more difficult it is, the more I laugh.

The fish thing makes me want to retch. Sideways.

The word verification makes me want to throw all the fish on your face.

Bee said...

Sorry. That was mean but I'm dixlicksick.

Beau Horner said...

That's okay, I sold my soul to Santa.

Rickey Henderson said...

Rickey, for one, welcomes our new zombie fish overlords and looks forward to toiling in the undersea coral fields.

4udiary said...

Hahaha.. I have your zombie fish in my blog also.. http://4udiary.blogspot.com/2008/06/fish-spa.html Just wonder where can i find those fish. I want to put some zombie fish in my house..:)

LOBO said...

LOL!! That was classic!!

(But on the downside, I may never bathe again.)