Sunday, July 27, 2008

Turning a Blind (Brown) Eye

One of my dream jobs is to do sketch comedy. I would absolutely love to get some people together and start a web show; but please, no more blind people. They always break the fourth wall. I don't know how many times I've told these people the script is on the computer and they suddenly have a slight problem because they can't read braille on a monitor; which I suppose leads me to my subject for the day. Have you noticed lately how many inappropriate places braille is actually conveniently put these days? The other night, we drove up to an ATM and the keypads had braille on them......ahem.....a DRIVE THROUGH ATM!!! who the hell is driving and how do they know the braille is even in English before they get there?! Do we have super blind people now that can see perfectly? Shouldn't we just call them "people"?!

That's just the dumbest thing in the world. no wait. I take that back. THIS is the dumbest thing in the world...

Shouldn't this little piece of information be on the actual toilet and not on the wall? Some blind guy will walk up and say, "hey, it says toilet, I guess it's right here.", so he starts pissing right there in the hallway while the deaf people point and laugh (of course, someone will have to get their attention by waving their arms frantically). Not only that, this fine establishment is implying that blind people should by default be in a wheelchair. That's pretty damn discriminatory. So you're telling me that this place has a handicapped stall big enough for this poor blind fellow, his wheelchair, and his dog? how's he gonna be able to tell if there's diarrhea splattered all over the seat? Not only that, how would his dog let him know? Most importantly, how will this unfortunate blind cripple get his seeing eye companion to stop drinking out of the toilet so he can tinkle?!?!

Apparently I'm going to have to call in an expert on the subject.

This ol' fart right here.


Alice said...

Yeah - I've seen braille in the dumbest places. Like a blind-person would randomly have to feel around Target for the door marked "Toilet". Or maybe it's there so their friends can't pull a fast one on them by taking them into the Employee's Lounge and calling it the bathroom.

The Offended Blogger said...

Ha! I'm surprised they don't put it on the handicap parking signs, you know, so the blind will know if they are parked in the right spot or not. :)

BTW, I hope you don't mind, but I plan on spending my day just hanging out here listening to your tunes. Do you have anything good in the fridge? :p

Beau Horner said...

I was actually going to eat some cauliflower and ranch dressing while I watch Penn & Teller's B.S., but I've also got some custard dessert I make that I call Beau's creamy goodness, I s*%t you not.

threio said...

OH, Magoo, You Done it Again!

Be careful U don't step in it!

Jinksy said...

I think the ATM is worse.

Especially when you go to the drive-thru bank machines.

If you need braille to use the ATM, should you be opting for teh convenience of a drive-thru as well??

Scary stuff.

SuperSizedSabZ said...

Haha. Yeah, I've never realized the whole Braille ATM machine before.

I'm going to start looking for random placings of Braille when I'm out during the day.

Lakelandmom said...

I actually saw a designated handicap parking spot at ... are you ready? At the SKATING RINK! I swear I didn't see any wheelchairs on the rink... WTF!

Sabs said...

Hey, I'm SuperSizedSabz from the above comment. Can you please delete that comment as well as this one. I'm in the process of removing my name from the zee internets.