Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Seriously, Who the Hell Was That Guy From Chips?

There's nothing I like more than taking an inspirational quote like "revenge is best served cold" and replacing it with "baby blood is best served with a crazy straw" and making it very possible and cost efficient for the black market and those people who actually make crazy straws. Seriously, when was the last time you saw one? Babies are fairly common these days, but crazy straws? They've pretty much gone the way of snap bracelets and Mr. T cereal.
Anyway, I found some famous quotes that put me to sleep, then I peed myself twice; so I would advise against reading the originals unless you're sporting some Huggies. (Once again, my stuff in BLUE)

“Nothing in the world can take the place of physical oddities. retardation will not; nothing is more uncommon than unsuccessful men with extra appendages. Down syndrome will not; unrewarded roles in “Life Goes On” is almost a given . Bum fights will not; the world is full of homeless derelicts… and apparently, redundancy. Persistence and determination alone are just like Pearl Harbor. The slogan, ‘Eat at Joe’s' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”

--Calvin Coolidge & that one guy from Chips (not the homo…the other one)

“The secret of pimpin’ for both hand and cheek is not to show pity for the bitches, not to front about the money, or not to anticipate straight trippin’, but to live in the damn moment an’ stop bein’ a lil’ biutch.

--Buddha & Dolemite

So take a minute and reflect on these dead and jobless mens' words of wisdom while you vote a little for this blog and I practice the art of straight trippin'. So click on this link and keepeth thy pimp hand strong.


The Acorn King said...

The pimp hand is strong with this one. Taste the rings biz-nitch.

The Acorn King said...

Larry Wilcox is a straight pimp:

Anonymous said...

The only thing I know about Chips comes from when my ex-gf made me watch a Dane Cook routine (I did say ex, didn't I?) and he mentioned Chips and squealing tires.

Beau Horner said...

Larry Wilcox, Acorn you just saved me from shaving my crack. It was a bet, no more questions...